Teacher, which commandment in the Law is the greatest?” He said to him: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.
Mt 22, 36-40
Surely different proposals of the examination of conscience have already reached your hands. We suggest that you perform it based on the commandment of love. The commandments are like signposts that were given to us by God so that we would not get lost. We should respect them and obey them, because He Himself chose them for us. Sometimes doubts arise in our hearts, and then it is worth asking for the closeness of God’s Angel Guardian, who informs our conscience like God’s GPS. Trust Him, He will help you discern. We invite you to a brief examination of conscience based on the commandment of love. Since the Heart of Jesus teaches us what is most important, we must try to focus on the commandment of love as much as possible. The more, the more it is supposed to warm and unite our hearts with His!
The examination has been arranged, according to Jesus’ words, into three persons to whom we should show love: to God, to another human being (that is, every person), and to ourselves, for we are also God’s creation. Therefore, the three dimensions of love will be discussed in turn. At the beginning of each Holy Mass, we remind ourselves of the act of contrition. Let us repeat its form, but let us try to associate our sins with love:
“I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have greatly sinned in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done and in what I have failed to do: through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault. Therefore I ask Blessed Mary ever-Virgin, all the Angels and Saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.”
This act of contrition, which opens the way for us to receive God’s forgiveness, strengthens and allows us to participate in the Eucharist worthily. Of course, you also need regular confession, but let’s start from the act of contrition. Let us remember that sin (thought), sin (word), sin (deed), and sin (neglect) weaken the power of love, and without love it is difficult to imagine a beautiful life, it is impossible to imagine heaven. Each time, we should try to see our sins in relation to love. Could it be that they concern the lack of love in some dimension of our life?
In the next sections, you will find specific questions that will help you in your examination of conscience before confession. They are questions, not answers. The “YES” answers show you what is good, the “NO” answers show sins that you should confess, because they concern love, the commandment of love.
What to remember – the conditions for a good confession:
Every examination of conscience, especially the one preparing you for the sacrament of penance and reconciliation, should be preceded by a prayer to the Holy Spirit. Ask Him to help you see your sins, which are a sad response to God’s love, each one an offense, a lack of love for the Father. Remember that you should not be afraid of confession – God loves you not because you do not sin, but because you are His beloved child. And the sacrament of penance is given so that you can start anew, with a pure heart. God will never reject you, no matter how many times you fall into the same sins. He is waiting for you – there is mercy in Him for you.
When preparing for confession, plan the right time and find a quiet place. Meet with yourself and imagine God the Father in whose presence you want to open your heart. If you think that you will forget your sins, write them down on a piece of paper, but destroy it right after confession. Also remember that you confess to God, who is listening carefully and forgiving you through the priest. The priest will remind you that God is merciful to you, that He loves you, that He forgives you, that He strengthens you. Sometimes it may seem difficult to confess your sins, which you are ashamed of. Remember, however, that you confess to Jesus, and He Himself established the sacrament of confession, and the priest is only His instrument who gives you forgiveness in His name. Don’t be afraid of confession, because it is an encounter with Jesus, with His mercy and His love. Don’t be afraid to confess even the most difficult sins. You must say them so that you can truly begin life anew.
When leaving confession, remember only two things. The first is a firm purpose of amendment, that is, the determination to avoid situations in which you may fall again and an honest effort to begin living differently. That’s what it’s all about, the effort itself is the most important thing! The second thing is making satisfaction to God and people, that is, making up for the harm done and making up for your sins. Did you say something unpleasant to someone close to you? You can apologize and make up for it with something nice. Did you think badly about someone? You can try to start liking them. Did you neglect your household duties? Now you can make a good decision and help your parents with some chores.
Love of God
Thoughts
- Do I get distracted easily during Holy Mass and prayer?
- Do I think more about myself, my own needs, rather than about God?
- Do I expect God to simply fulfill my requests instead of entrusting myself to Him, believing that He knows better what I need?
- Do I recognize my difficulties as a challenge to trust God?
Words
- Do I forget, during prayer, to speak with God as with a Father, a friend?
- Was my prayer mechanical, mindless, a meaningless recitation?
- In anger, did I misuse God’s name—did I speak it lightly, disrespectfully?
- In conversations about God, did I lack words of gratitude, apology, prayers, or requests to experience His love more fully?
- Did I ask God for help in joys, difficulties, failures, and sins, or did I rely only on myself?
- Did I find it difficult to acknowledge my sins and weaknesses before Him, even though I could easily admit them before friends?
- Was I careless and forgetful about the act of amendment I promised God during my previous confession?
Actions
- Did I treat devotional objects (crosses, medals, images) as ordinary things, forgetting that they are to lead me to God and the Saints?
- Did I show interest in fortune-telling, horoscopes, superstitions, magic?
- Did I neglect prayer in the morning and evening?
- Did I participate in Holy Mass and other religious practices in my daily life?
- Did I attend confession and Holy Communion at least once a year?
- Did I intentionally avoid confession, justifying it by saying it wasn’t necessary?
- Did I read or listen to Sacred Scripture willingly?
- Did I try to fulfill the penance I received during confession, or did I treat it as something trivial?
- Did I delay confession without reason?
Neglect
- Did I neglect time for prayer?
- Did I treat prayer and time spent with God as a burden instead of joy?
- Was my heart lacking in obedience to God’s will and in seeking to know Him more deeply?
Love for Neighbor
Thoughts
- Do I judge and condemn another person? Do I sometimes look at others with a sense of superiority, feeling that I am better?
- Do I look with envy at another person—at what they have or possess?
- Do I find it difficult to control anger and the desire for revenge?
- Do I wish harm, suffering, or misfortune upon someone else?
- Do I offend others in my thoughts?
Words
- Do I forget to pray for others?
- Do I mock or make fun of others?
- Am I spiteful in my speech toward others?
- Do I gossip or talk badly about others behind their backs?
- Do I lie in order to protect myself or avoid unpleasant consequences?
- Do my words sometimes hurt others instead of lifting them up?
- Do I find it hard to admit guilt and ask others for forgiveness?
- Do I misuse my words?
Actions
- Do I neglect my responsibilities?
- Do I focus only on myself instead of serving others?
- Am I indifferent to the needs of others—do I try to help, share, or support them?
- Do I fail to return borrowed things, pretending they are mine?
- Do I damage or waste someone else’s belongings?
- Do I betray the trust others place in me—by revealing secrets or letting them down?
- Do I slander or insult others?
- Do I avoid admitting my guilt and apologizing for my wrong actions?
- Do I try to make amends for the harm I have done?
Neglect
- Do I miss chances to help or support others when I could?
- Do I ignore the dignity of another person—acting as if they don’t matter?
- Do I remain silent instead of defending someone who is being treated unfairly?
- Do I use words carelessly, hurting others instead of building them up?
- Do I neglect to share my blessings, possessions, or prayers with those in need?
Love for Yourself
Thoughts
- Do I forget about my own dignity as a child of God?
- Do I allow negative thoughts and images to dominate my mind?
- Do I blame myself and condemn myself because of difficult experiences and failures, which I cannot forgive myself for?
- Do I sometimes compare myself to others and undervalue myself?
- Do I think I am worth nothing?
- Do I place material things above a life directed toward love of God and neighbor?
- Do I sometimes expect everything to go wrong?
- Do I avoid putting in effort in my life?
Words
- Do I use ugly words that harm my dignity as a child of God?
- Do I tend to complain or grumble about difficulties, suffering, or challenges?
- Do I put myself down with my words, especially when I should be taking needed action?
- Do I speak badly about myself?
Actions
- Do I struggle to be happy with my successes and achievements?
- Do I set my standards too low, not believing in the possibilities God has given me?
- Do I have trouble setting limits with my use of phone, internet, or media, losing time needed for rest and relationships?
- Do I waste time on activities that are pointless or harmful?
- Do I give up too easily when something is difficult instead of finishing what I started?
- Do I follow rules and laws that protect my safety and that of others?
Neglect
- Do I ignore healthy lifestyle principles that I should be following?
- Do I make choices that harm my health and body?
- Do I neglect real rest, which is necessary to regain strength and joy for each day?
- Do I avoid putting in effort, which limits God’s grace from working in my life and the lives of those around me?
